Facebook statuses I can't post

Jillian...

"is nauseous!"

"is feeling the nauburn again."

"has sore boobs."

"is tired...again."

"is definitely suffering from baby brain." (This one refers to the day I got to Homemaker's Furniture, went to the bathroom, and looked down at my feet to discover a black shoe on one foot and a brown shoe on the other. They had different heel heights, so I had to limp around the store and pray that nobody noticed my lack of fashion sense.)

"wishes she had a doppler machine so she could hear the baby's heartbeat any time I wanted!"

"is ok with ice cream again."